The Bartender
Earlier this year the New Zealand Herald reported the case of an Auckland bartender who questioned whether a mother-to-be should be drinking.
The woman who was not named said she was “accosted” and repeatedly questioned about her choice when she ordered a low-alcohol beer. She thought it “patronising and rude”.She is reported as saying “The barman asked me whether I was sure I wanted to have an alcoholic drink, then pointed at my stomach,” she said. “I was fuming.”The woman said she drank light beer and wine during her previous pregnancy, as her four sisters had during theirs. She said she had “glares from people in the past and it does seem that while you have this huge stomach and you are waddling around, everyone has something to say about it, but nothing like this. This was incredibly insulting.”
Was the bartender right to raise the issue?
This article was first published in the December 2007 edition of alcohol.org.nz.
December 15 2007 12:24 pm | Alcohol and Pregnancy
Sam on 20 Dec 2007 at 11:59 am #
I personally would give a thumbs up to the bartender. From personal experience going through my wife’s first anti natal classes, the instructor almost belittled her health messages on the affects of drinking and smoking during pregnancy by stopping straight after the speech for a cigarette break for any mothers that needed a puff!
As a community we all pay for negative consequences from mothers who make bad choices for their unborn child. I commend the bar tender who chose not to look the other way, but act.
Ben on 30 Dec 2007 at 9:54 pm #
The bartender was absolutely right & it just highlights the criminal lack of awareness about the dangers of drinking while pregnant. We have advertisements about the problems of drinking generally, but where are the advertisements targetting this issue – which involves an innocent party who’s brain is getting damaged?
Andrew on 07 Jan 2008 at 12:33 pm #
Full credit to the bartender. He showed a great deal of courage and responsibility in his attempt to have the young lady think about whether she should be drinking while pregnant.
It makes me cringe when I see a pregnant woman drinking alcohol or smoking a cigarette. It is only 9 months that a pregnant woman need to go without. It is great to see a young man in the responsible position of serving alcohol taking his job seriously and looking after the best interests of his patrons.
At times bar people need to make calls that will be unpopular (usually with a person who is being refused service for various reasons) and they should have the support of the public to do so.
michelle on 08 Jan 2008 at 9:04 am #
absolutley! His comments were commendable in our ‘turn a blind eye’ society. While he doesn’t have the authority to refuse her alcohol based on her pregnancy, he surely has every moral responsibility to question her actions. All power ro him & if only there were more like him willing to stick thier necks out a little.
John on 08 Jan 2008 at 3:27 pm #
I am struck by the report that she was drinking light beer, which is a concession to the pregnancy (2% alcohol rather than 4%) I think the bartender might have said “Good thing you are just drinking low alcohol beer because you obviously know that alcohol can have a really bad impact on your little baby”. This might have been a more positive way of challenging her about her drinking at all.
The unfortunate thing in this report is that she says that she also drinks wine, which is more likely to be around 13%. This reveals a lack of real knowledge about drinks more than anything. The bartender would have had more cause to challenge the wine drinking had he seen it.
Equity on 15 Jan 2008 at 3:56 pm #
I completely agree with the Bartender and commend his efforts. We are all aware of the health consequences for the baby and the mother.
However, just to stretch the debate a little further and having been a non-smoking pregnant lady in the past. What are we to do with the smokers that come and stand beside us at the bus stations, train stations, outside the entrances to restaurants, toilets etc. As a pregnant woman and then mother of a wonderful daughter, we cannot always control the passive smoke that our bodies and our children are subjected to.
While I agree, that it is a mothers responsibility to not drink alcohol or smoke while pregnant, the point of this debate is creating healthy children… our society needs to take a look at the collective behaviour and not just single out the pregnant woman at the time.
And finally, just to put out a further challenge in response to the previous blog. Yes it is only 9 months, albeit in some cases the most stressful and exhausting 9 months of your life. How many fathers to be, give up the alcohol and smoking to support their partners?
Food for thought
Murray on 16 Jan 2008 at 10:34 am #
Regarding the smoking question – the answer is simple. Ban all smoking in public places!
Sue on 17 Jan 2008 at 3:05 pm #
I also commend the barman and also think Equity raises an important point when she asks how many fathers give up smoking and drinking to support their partners (and their child’s healthy development). While we all know that women shouldn’t drink when they are pregnant – what do people think about the responsibilities of the women’s braoder community and in particular fathers?